The other night I watched the first two films in the original Planet of the Apes series for the first time in years. They provided some interesting points. If you haven’t seen the films, this is unsurprisingly littered with spoilers both large and small.

1. Charlton Heston has too many teeth.

It’s distracting. In a world of apes where all the humans have tanned and dirty faces, the man with two gleaming white bars attached to his jaw sticks out more than a little. Of course, this problem is in no way unique to PotA – It’s a character trait that seems to have followed Mr. Heston through all of his films, gnashing through that fourth wall while simultaneously chewing on the scenery.

2. Both the 1968 & 2001 versions are just as liberal in their use of the source material.

Originally, I thought the 2001 Burton remake was the more faithful to the novel. In retrospect, this was mainly due to the combination of the way Burton ended his version & my own failing memory of the ’68 film. Having recently read the book and now watched both the ’68 and ’01 versions I think it’s probably safe to say they both ‘adapt’ the story equally loosely, though Burton appeared to be trying (not necessarily succeeding) to retain more of the original plot and characterisation of the novel.

Incidentally, one of the main contention points (of many) about the 2001 film was that the ending didn’t make sense. With the exception of Thade, the Burton ending is almost identical to the final narrated scenes of the book. Earth and Soror (aka. the Planet of the Apes) were always intended to be parallels of each other, not the same planet at different times. Schaffners ’68 version created the ‘this planet is actually future Earth’ story and wrote their own final twist to tie it together. Bear in mind that they had Rod Serling as one of the screenwriters. It was inevitable.

4. Roddy McDowall

He’s not in Beneath the Planet of the Apes. That’s why it’s not as good.

He’s in all the others though, so that’s ok.

5. Nova is completely superfluous.

Somewhere, I hope, there’s a stack of film reels containing cut scenes from PotA. Half of them are entitled, “Nova and Taylor interact, progressing plot + developing both characters.” The other half are entitled, “Zira and Taylor interact, progressing plot + developing both characters.” As it stands, the version of Nova on film is little more than Taylor’s mute (implied) sex slave. In the first film, Taylor shows little in the way of true affection for her beyond basic ‘this is mine’ actions, and Nova’s social and emotional output is almost as muted as her voice. The character doesn’t really improve with BtPotA. 90% of Nova’s role in the second film is as a plot skipper, created to avoid having to repeat the first two acts of the first film for Brent. The other 10% is trying to retroactively create the relationship with Taylor that should have been present in the first film. It’s not until Nova’s death that Taylor shows that she meant everything to him. The problem is that by that late stage of proceedings, it’s a struggle to believe him.

6. Zira’s First Impression of Brent.

[Brent appears from behind curtain in Zira & Cornelius' home]

Dr. Zira : Taylor?

That was my first impression when I saw him too. James Franciscus has a passing resemblance to Heston, but when introduced to the viewer immediately after a pseudo-flashback featuring Heston’s Taylor, and appearing in similar circumstances to Taylor’s arrival, my first thought was that he was meant to be a re-cast Taylor, recreating scenes from the first film. He had to verbally introduce himself to a dying man before I realised he was meant to be someone else entirely.

7. Ghouls are awesome.

Looking back, there is an ever-so-slight chance that the post-apocalyptic ghouls who make painful noises may have been a subconscious influence on me. Not visually.

9. Ghoul prayers and hymns are awesome.

Mendez: May the Blessings of the Bomb Almighty, and the Fellowship of the Holy Fallout, descend upon us all. This day and forever more.
Congregation: [singing] Amen!

10. Never trust a post-apocalyptic ‘civilisation’ that lives underground.

(see also: A Boy And His Dog, Logan’s Run etc.)

Above ground, you can always rely on the predictability of the local anarchist state city or the hostility of the nearest communist nomadic tribe. Down below, it’s anyone’s guess as to how people behave, and BtPotA is no exception. Taking a contrasting stance to the simian mantra of  ‘Ape shall never kill ape’, the mutant cult use their psychokinetic powers in sadistic fashion. Initially manifesting visual deterrents such as walls of flame, earthquakes and torture, they also appear to take a perverse pleasure in their ‘peaceful’ actions that involve either audio torture that’s not too dissimilar to modern ‘non-lethal’ ultrasound weapons, or simply making people kill each other against their will. Oh yeah, and they worship a doomsday device as their god. There’s a bit more explanation and background to the cult, but that’ll have to wait a few films…